In this article:
Women want to be agreeable, so they don’t talk about income.
We don’t win when we stay quiet
How to talk to each other about income
The Challenge: Women Aren’t Sure How to Talk about Income
I had lunch the other day with a friend of mine who has a high-profile role at a well-known tech company. As she was talking to me, she lowered her voice to a whisper to say, “....and since I’m the primary breadwinner…”
I stopped her - “Why did you just whisper that??”
Ladies - we’re all in very different places when it comes to income, but we’re not doing ourselves any favors if we continue to whisper about it!
Income is a weird topic for women. Women are more likely than men to select a lower-income but higher-value career (like non-profit, teacher, or nursing.) Many talented women step back in their careers or leave the workforce to care for family - happily or reluctantly. And there is a growing group of women who don’t know how to talk about being the major breadwinner in their family. This and many other factors have created an environment where women would rather not talk about income at all than say something that makes someone else uncomfortable.
What’s more, talking about money can be seen as rude or crass - and we women are much more likely to err on the side of agreeableness than men.
This report is not about encouraging women to rudely compare bank account balances with one another. Rather, I want women to start talking about success - and how we can have more of it. If we don’t talk, we keep ourselves isolated from one another and we don’t pass along our hard-earned wisdom to younger women. This includes women who don’t have income!
I want this report to get all women talking about income and power more openly - and supportively!
This is what I hope happens when people read this report:
Working women stop taking “no” for an answer and push further than ever before.
Women who feel overwhelmed in mid-career are encouraged to keep going and advance beyond their wildest dreams
Women who left the workforce but miss having a career are empowered to step into the game again.
Women who stay home to care for their families know how to realistically encourage their daughters to follow their dreams.
Male executives understand the top performing women in their company a bit more and benefit from promoting them to top roles.
While women have made incredible strides in school and in entry level professional work, they drop off in mid-career, ceding their power just when they have expertise, knowledge and a network.
If women want to be truly equal to men, make positive improvements to society and leave the world a better place for their children, we need to talk about income. This doesn’t mean that every woman needs to go into finance and make millions. Rather, I want women to come from a position of power and growth wherever they are.
This means staying in the game and supporting women in the game even when there are major roadblocks in front of us. Even when the rules change. Even when we get shut down and shut out.
How To: Talk about income
We should not just be looking at earning a paycheck to put dinner on the table, we should be looking at what we need to do to attain power so that we can influence the future of our world. When we reach roadblocks, rather than quit, we need to pivot. We need to take more risks. Women need to be ready for a marathon that includes many twists and turns. It requires tenacity, adaptability and perseverance. But this report shows that the women who are in the game think it is very much worth the extra effort.
Here are some ways we can talk no matter what income we have:
I feel stuck at my current income, I’m looking for ways to jump to the next level.
I have a friend who also wants to grow her business - would you want to connect with her?
Your kids are getting older - are you thinking about going back to work? I’d love to help if I can!
I heard you’re the main breadwinner for your family - nice! What are some of the things you do to make it work?
Do you invest your money yourself? I am trying to learn more about it.
Men are not going to hand their power to women, nor are they going to stop playing the game with any less ambition or strategic maneuvering. That’s OK. Women are more than qualified to play.
We will play better if we work together.
Let’s Go!
